User blog:AnimatronicClown/Jinxed
I think my blog post yesterday got me jinxed. I had said I hadn't had any attacks for about five days. Well, a few hours later, I had one mid-third period. I had to go home. It didn't have a reason, like some don't. I was embarrassed when I got home, but my family is very ''supportive. That's something I am very grateful for. I was thinking of how to expand on this blog post here, and I decided that maybe describing what my attack felt like yesterday might help someone. I know that personally, I thought I was alone for the longest time. I know things like this may make you feel outcast or inadequate, because while so many people are affected by mental illness, it sure seems like you're the only one sometimes. I thought maybe some of you could feel like someone else relates to you if I were to describe my attack. So here I go... At first, I just felt nervous. I have severe GAD, and it affects me in a way that makes me worry about anything and everything, including problems that don't exist and much of the time, I don't know or understand why I'm so worried/paranoid. Anyways, that dreadful/nervousness feeling came to me out of nowhere again, and at first it was minor. I was hoping it would just go away like it sometimes does. But then my right ear began to burn a little. That's another thing that indicates that I'm frustrated. Another thing that's pretty embarrassing is that I was sweating really bad. I didn't stink or anything like that, but my shirt was soaked, and it made me ''so uncomfortable. Being so conscious of the sweating made the nervousness increase. Then came the small lump I felt in my throat. There's nothing actually there, but it's something I kind of imagine. The reason why I think I imagine this lump is because that's when my breathing starts to become a bit difficult. It's not hyperventilation, don't get me wrong. It's just enough of a change in my breathing that I can notice. I guess at this point, it begins to feel like these little things are trying to pile up on me.'' (Typing this for the first time, I'm actually starting to realize that I only just now fully understand the process of these anxiety/panic attacks.) ''Now, my therapist is always emphasizing that stabilizing my breathing during these things is ''vitally ''important. I made sure I tried to do that yesterday, and I will say it helped to keep me from starting the crying fit stage of my attack. I'm really grateful for that. I'm hoping that, maybe, somehow, my summed up description will help someone in some way. If it doesn't, that's okay, too, because I think that just helped me (given my excerpt like this one). I've never taken the time to go through the steps of these things, and now I feel that I better understand them! I can only thank all of you, whoever may take the time to read these (which means the world to me) because I only hope to make things a little better for someone, because I know what it's like to struggle with mental illness, and to feel isolated, and to want to relate to a friend. Thanks again for reading. You're all so amazing. If you need me, you know how to contact me. Have a wonderful day. Category:Blog posts